Friday, October 30, 2020

Virtual Bowl: Week Two

After the exciting first round of match-ups, the teams were ready to get back out there and battle to move up the standings. However, spirits were dampened by rainy conditions which, in some cases, created slower surfaces for the players.

Wombats @ Melonheads

Melonheads

Moonbeam

Wheeler

Robinson

T Delvecchio

Steele

A Delvecchio

Garcia

Wombats

Sanchez

V Kawaguchi

Estrada

Eckman

Luna

S Dobbs

Dubois

The Melonheads were the only road team to win in Week One and carried themselves with confidence as they prepared for the Wombats. Meanwhile, the Wombats and captain Pablo Sanchez were the only team to win despite losing the turnover battle. Sanchez, as a quarterback, rushed for over 200 yards and three TDs in his first game, so it was clear he would be the focus of the opposing defense.

Captain Star “Laser” Moonbeam didn’t get much action in the team’s opener, but they used a new look offense in the first quarter. Star caught a pass from Dante Robinson and took it all the way to the house for the game’s first score. After a missed XP it was 6-0.

The Wombats were excited for the opportunity to counter, but for a second straight week, the kick-off game was a disaster. Pablo fumbled another kick-off and Star picked this one up as well, running it in for the TD. That made it 13-0.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Sanchez tried to play hero ball on the next offensive set and tossed an interception to Pete Wheeler (his 3rd of the Bowl). It must have been slippery out there because, fortunately for the Wombats, Dante Robinson turned around and tossed one right back. Then, as time expired, Sanchez heaved a long end of half prayer – which was intercepted. There was no magic this time for the Wombats, who trailed 13-0 in the lowest scoring 1st half yet.

If Sanchez thought things would get better in the second half, he was sadly mistaken. Once again, Sanchez fumbled the kick-off and this time it was Tony Delvecchio’s turn to take it the house. After a disastrous start for the Wombats, they trailed 20-0.

Although the offense did get it going with a rushing TD by Pablo, the Melonheads were able to counter punch, using a trick play to have Pete “If It’s Called Football Why I am Throwing It” Wheeler throw a long TD pass to Star Moonbeam out of the backfield. With limited time and a 28-7 lead, the Melonheads started to settle in to 2-0.

The Wombats did make a run. Sanchez threw a TD, Luna converted an onside kick and Sanchez threw another TD (both to Vicki Kawaguchi), but ultimately it was not enough. The clock ran out on the Wombats comeback chances and, after 4 turnovers, Pablo was handed defeat.

Final score: Melonheads 28 – Wombats 22

All Stars @ Rockets

Rockets

Rice

Young

Worthington

Johnson

Thomas

Morgan

Marino

All Stars

Cunningham

Petrovich

Lui

Frazier

K Kawaguchi

Am Khan

Blackwood

While Melonheads-Wombats was a battle of undefeateds, All Stars-Rockets was a battle between winless opponents. The Rockets had really choked away a late game lead while the All Stars had never quite gotten their feet in the ground. How would things change in Week 2?

The Rockets did what they had done in Week 1 with a quick strike offense. It was 7-0 in an instant as Jerry Rice scored a long TD. But the All Stars had figured out their offense as well, using a Luanne Lui run to tie the score.

But the pressure on the All Stars was turned up after Rice caught another TD bomb and Cunningham forced the issue. He tossed an interception for a second straight game which the Rockets didn’t hesitate to turn into points, with Young rushing for the score. It was 21-7 at the half and the Rockets looked the team many suspected they would be.

The second half proved to be a total shoot out, but the Rockets were never truly tested. Touchdowns were scored on 5 consecutive drives as Young and Cunningham threw the ball over the field. Cunningham threw 3 TD passes (1 to Lui and 2 to Frazier) while Young tossed two more to Jerry. The final score was within a touchdown, but that was only because of a last second Hocus Pocus TD by the All Stars. It was a dominant performance by the Rockets passing offense. Despite -28 yards rushing from Ricky, they racked up over 300 yards through the air (307 and 4 TDs to Rice).

Final score: Rockets 35 – All Stars 28

Hornets @ Fishes

Fishes

Pappas

Phillips

Elway

Favre

Khan

Hasselhoff

Bledsoe

Hornets

Ng

Sanders

Smith

Crockett

A Webber

S Webber

R Dobbs

The Fishes had a long wait after their heartbreaking loss to the Wombats in Week One. Still with a better taste in his mouth, Chico “and the Niners” Pappas (that’s a Twenty-One Pilots reference) rushed for a TD on his team’s opening drive to start things with a 7-0 lead. Unfortunately for Pappas, that would be the only points his team scored all game.

The Hornets, who won their first game in a surprise over the Rockets, showed they were for real. They controlled the clock with Barry Sanders finding his footing in the run game, compiling 162 yards a 2 TDs. Smith also used the #1 pick in the passing game as he scored a 54 yard TD via the air.

The Fishes had no answer for the Hornet smothering defense, led by Lisa Crockett and Jocinda Smith. They forced three turnovers and held their opponents to just 69 total yards.

Final score: Hornets 35 – Fishes 7

 

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Virtual Bowl: Week One

 Week One

After weeks of anticipation, the first game day of the Virtual Bowl is finally upon us. All six teams will be playing three simultaneous games. The weather is great and the football is expected to be great as well.

Melonheads @ All Stars

All Stars

Cunningham

Petrovich

Lui

Frazier

K Kawaguchi

Am Khan

Blackwood

Melonheads

Moonbeam

Wheeler

Robinson

T Delvecchio

Steele

A Delvecchio

Garcia

The All Stars had possession first, led by captain Randall Cunningham at QB. But on the team’s first drive, he threw a costly interception to Melonheads CB Pete Wheeler. It didn’t take long for the Melonnheads to capitalize as Wheeler rushed in a touchdown to give his team the edge. But that was just the beginning of the rough star for the All Stars.

On the ensuing kickoff, Amir “and Jake” Khan fumbled the kick-off, which was picked up Star “Boy” Moonbeam and returned it to the house for a touchdown. Just like that it was 14-0 and things were looking dire for the All Stars.

On the All Stars next drive, the Melonheads had forced a 4th down and Cunningham made the bold decision to go for it. On a wild conversion, he dumped a pass to Luanne “The Myth, The Legend” Lui in the flat who turned the play into a 69 yd TD. The Melonheads didn’t have enough time to counter, missing a long field goal to end of the half, meaning it was 14-7 at intermission.

In the second half, the Melonheads picked up where they left off with a dominant rushing attack. The team was designed around speed and they saw it with Pete Wheeler rushing for the TD.

But the All Stars continued to fight. Cunningham launched an 80 yd TD to Annie Frazier and kept the team within a score. Then the defense stepped up, Luanne Lui forced an interception against Dante Robinson and the All Stars now had the ball back with a chance to tie.

The Melonheads loaded up against Lui on the run, but the All Stars were ready with some trickery. Lui launched a half back pass to Frazier who took it the distance for a TD. Then, after gaining a sonic boom play on the completion, Lui rushed in a go ahead 2-pt conversion. Suddenly the All Stars had the lead.

But this one wasn’t over yet. Pete “Which Way Is the End Zone” Wheeler, got loose for his 3rd TD of the game to put his squad back in front. He finished with 183 yards on the ground and 32 yards through the air.

There was time for one last counter strike from Cunningham, but his final drive ended when Pete Wheeler snagged his second INT of the game and clinched things for the Melonheads.

Final score: 29 Melonheads – 22 All Stars

Fishes @ Wombats

Wombats

Sanchez

V Kawaguchi

Estrada

Eckman

Luna

S Dobbs

Dubois

Fishes

Pappas

Phillips

Elway

Favre

Khan

Hasselhoff

Bledsoe

Pablo Sanchez, ranked as the #1 player in the bubble prior to games kicking-off, got to play his first game and he wanted a victory. Sanchez lined up at QB in his first possession, but it was his feet that got the Wombat offense going. He scrambled for a 50 yard TD run to open the game for the Wombats.

However, the Fishes weren’t rattled. They responded with a Chico “Mommas and” Pappas touchdown run. Then, for a second straight game, we saw a fumbled kickoff return go for a TD. Sanchez coughed it up and Favre scooped and scored.

Pablo continued to have the ball in his hands on the Wombats next possession and he rallied the troops for another touchdown, once again scoring from a long way out by using his feet. But on the other side, the Fishes quarterback had some tricks of his own. John “My Way or the” Elway got the start in a crowded QB locker room and he promptly threw his first TD pass to another QB, Brett Favre, from 80 yards out to put the Fishes back in front.

In the closing moments of the first half, the Wombats were driving to try and tie the game. Sanchez completed a pass over the middle to Maria Luna, but she fumbled the football for a second Wombat’s turnover. High priced draft pick Keisha “Screwdriver” Phillips dived on the football.

With only about 5 seconds left, the Fishes weren’t sure how to handle the possession. They opted to try for a very long field goal of almost 60 yards and they missed. But they accidentally left 1 second on the clock. That proved to be their undoing as Pablo unleashed a touchdown pass to Vicki Kawaguchi to tie up the game heading into the half.

Despite the shock and disappointment of that half, Elway marched his team back down the field to start Quarter 3. The drive ended with a touchdown pass to Favre. But the Wombats were not to be denied, specifically Sanchez, who rushed for a third TD and tied things up again, this time at 28 a piece.

It was crunch time again for the Fishes as they pushed the ball down the field. The Wombats countered and contained Pappas and Elway as they tried to sneak some extra yards. It was a 4th and 1 with limited time left and the Fishes had a tough choice. Rather than try another long field goal, they tried to punch forward for the extra yards, but the Wombats made the stop thanks to Kimmy “What the” Eckman making a huge tackle.

After the stop, Pablo did what Pablo does and led his team back down the field. Although the Fishes defense managed to hold the Wombats to a field goal attempt, Maria Luna’s foot was true. A last second Fishes drive couldn’t get down the field and the Wombats held on the victory.

Final score: 31 Wombats-28 Fishes.

Rockets @ Hornets

Hornets

Ng

Sanders

Smith

Crockett

A Webber

S Webber

R Dobbs

Rockets

Rice

Young

Worthington

Johnson

Thomas

Morgan

Marino

The high-powered Rockets offense was the talk of the town on draft day and pick within bubble circles for Virtual Bowl champions. On the field, they quickly got to work on supporting that narrative. Steve Young intercepted Jocinda “MVP?” Smith’s opening drive pass attempt before a few plays later, handing the ball to Ricky Johnson for a rushing TD. Just like that the Rockets were in the driver seat.

Smith and Young then traded touchdown passes to Lena Ng and Jerry Rice respectively. Smith got all of her receivers involved with another TD pass, this time to Sidney Webber. It was nearly a perfect drive, but they left just enough time that the Rockets could counter. A Worthington field goal made it 17-14.

Young and the Rockets got the ball to start the second half and picked up right where they left off. This time, Steve rushed in the TD and the lead was extended to 9.

The Hornets could have been rattled, trailing by the largest margin of the game, but Jocinda kept a cool head. She got running back Barry Sanders involved and the first overall draft pick rushed in a 10 yard TD to cap off a great Hornets drive. The Hornets made a bold decision to go for 2 with Lena explaining after the game that, they wanted to try and cut it to 1 so if the Rockets scored again, they would still be within 1 score. You can argue the merits of the decision, but Smith didn’t back-up the call by throwing a second INT, this time to Steve Young. The score was 23-20 in favor of the Rockets.

Finally the Hornets defense got some fortune as Steve Young’s next drive ended with an interception. However, it didn’t mean much as the Hornet’s ended up settling for a long tying field goal attempt (which was missed by Crockett).  The Rockets could ice the game with a nice drive, however Ricky “Did I do that?” Johnson fumbled the football! Ashley Webber dived on it for the Hornets.

Suddenly, there was hope and the Hornets did not disappoint. Jocinda Smith lofted a pass to Lena Ng and she took it all the way to the house with only seconds remaining. The Rockets didn’t even have the chance to counter as time expired on the ensuing kick-off. It was a stunning upset win for the Hornets.

Final score: 26 Hornets – 23 Rockets

Friday, October 16, 2020

Backyard Football Draft

The Draft

The Captains from the 6 teams will now make their selections in the 2020 Virtual Felix Bowl draft. Each team will have 6 selections. Drafting will be snake style. The draft order is as follows:

1. Hornets (Lena Ng)

2. Fishes (Chico Pappas)

3. Rockets (Jerry Rice)

4. All-Stars (Randall Cunningham)

5. Melonheads (Star Moonbeam)

6. Wombats (Pablo Sanchez)

First Round

Hornets (Ng) select Barry “Barry” Sanders

Analysis: It’s a bit of an overlapping skill set with Ng who is also a speed based, play-maker, but it’s hard to pass up a talent like Sanders.

Fishes (Pappas) select Keisha “Flash” Phillips

Pappas looking for complimentary piece to his offensive acumen with a defensive stopper in Phillips. She was the top defensive player available, per Mel Kiper, Jr. Jr. and there is expected to be a lot of depth at QB.

Rockets (Rice) select Steve “Lefty” Young

In one of the most predictable picks you will see, Jerry goes up and grabs his neighbor Steve. The two have been running routes all during quarantine and are expected to have great chemistry.

All-Stars (Cunningham) select Dmitri “Paste” Petrovich

A bit of a surprise pick here, but could still have real value. Petrovich is not only a defensive stopper, but he also has arguably the best kicking league in the bubble. It’s hard to know exactly how much field goal kicking will come into play in this league, but Cunningham will be ready.

Melonheads (Moonbeam) select Pete “Wheelie” Wheeler

The Melonheads are clearly hoping that speed kills in this year’s Virtual Bowl. Wheeler is the fastest kid we’ve got, but he also can’t tell the difference between cats and raccoons.

Wombats (Sanchez) select Vicki “Swan” Kawaguchi

Vicki may look like a sweet little girl, but she’s also got great hands and tremendous footwork.

Round Two

Wombats (Sanchez, V Kawaguchi) select Zenon “Guy of the 21st Century” Estrada

The last custom player available, Sanchez has used his first two picks on skill positions. That makes it seem like the “Secret Weapon” is leaning toward starting himself in the QB position rather than getting himself in space as a receiver or a running back.

Melonheads (Moonbeam, Wheeler) select Dante “Stretch” Robinson

Despite eating Dmitri’s weight in food, Robinson is still (somehow) one of the fastest kids available. The speed trend continues for the Melonheads who are saying they plan to start the speedster Robinson at QB.

All-Stars (Cunningham, Petrovich) select Luanne “Lulu” Lui

The All-Stars continue to be the biggest wildcard in the league. Lui is the youngest player in the league, but the speed is undeniable. Only Wheeler posted a faster 40 time at the combine. The question is, will she be able to catch passes out of the backfield if she is holding her teddy bear.

Rockets (Rice, Young) select Reese “Big Toe” Worthington

The Rockets look like they will be chucking it each week as Rice has used his first two draft picks on a QB and another wide receiver. Worthington should be a great second option as Rice can carry the load so Reese can utilize his inhaler while staying fresh for the big moments.

Fishes (Pappas, Phillips) select John “Comeback Kid” Elway

The Fishes making sure to get a QB who can pass and run with the selection of Elway. Although Pappas can catch, they still don’t have a go-to receiver to play with him and the pressure will be on Phillips to carry the defense.

Hornets (Ng, Sanders) select Jocinda “MVP” Smith

Not necessarily as fast as some of the other QB options, but the Hornets went for a well-rounded, confident player in Smith. We will see if the team takes a flyer on another QB (still lots of options available) or if they are comfortable with the bruising force.

Round Three

Hornets (Ng, Sanders, Smith) select Lisa “Mad Dog” Crockett

One of the oddest nickname choices given her relative even demeanor, Crockett is projected to be a real defensive force this season. Young bubble draft expert, Todd McShay thinks this is great value compared to Phillips who went almost two full rounds earlier.

Fishes (Pappas, Phillips, Elway) select Brett “Country Boy” Favre

Back to back QB selections for the Fishes seemed like an odd choice, but the like the upside of Favre at Wide Receiver, plus they think his speed and defense makes him a mult-faceted plug and play type of football player.

Rockets (Rice, Young, Worthington) select Ricky “Fella” Johnson

The sweet, shy Johnson is ready to roll with what is quickly becoming a high-powered offense. Johnson, who has solid speed a good foot, is looking like the possible running back in the Rockets offense. One side of the ball is setting, but defensively there are real question marks.

All-Stars (Cunningham, Petrovich, Lui) select Annie “Flipper” Frazier

Frazier’s best asset may be her sandal clad foot (which overlaps with Petrovich), but captain Randall said he just wanted to get people he knows can play football out on the field. This is a balanced team, but they will be relying heavily on Lui for explosiveness. Still unclear if Randall plans to play QB or not.

Melonheads (Moonbeam, Wheeler, Robinson) select Tony “Vec” Delvecchio

A team that went total speed with the first three picks now goes for the brawn. Tony is a bruise on the offensive and defensive line and looks like the kind of guy who would become a mob boss one day.

Wombats (Sanchez, V Kawaguchi, Estrada) select Kimmy “Twinkie Toes” Eckman

A bit of a surprise pick from the Wombats as they pick a defensive-focused player without a ton of multi-dimensional skills. She does carry candy though. I like candy. Everybody likes candy.

Round Four

Wombats (Sanchez, V Kawaguchi, Estrada, Eckman) select Maria “Pinky” Luna

One of the surest sets of hands in the game, this will be another receiving option for what looks more than ever like a Pablo-quarterbacked offense. While Luna is a friend of Vicki’s, she was admittedly calling for her brother to be selected in this spot and Pablo ignored her. Unclear if he was being mean or just didn’t understand.

Melonheads (Moonbeam, Wheeler, Robinson, T Delvecchio) select Ernie “Funnybones” Steele

Another sure handed player who is taller, and arguably faster than Luna. Maybe just an oversight from Sanchez there or maybe he liked the kicking upside of Luna. Regardless, this seems like a nice steel for the Melonheads, especially as a second receiving option behind Moonbeam.

All-Stars (Cunningham, Petrovich, Lui, Frazier) select Kenny “K-man” Kawaguchi

The kids weren’t sure if Kenny would even be allowed to come to the bubble considering he’s a high risk kid, but now that he’s here, he’s expected to make plays in the passing game for the All-Stars offense. Still surprised his nickname isn’t “Wheels”.

Rockets (Rice, Young, Worthington, Johnson) select Mikey “Nugget” Thomas

Although Mikey looks like he’s sick (don’t worry he’s been tested for Corona), Thomas actually has a great skill set. He’s a tough defender (something the Rockets really needed), can throw (if needed) and can catch. He doesn’t have speed, but this could prove to be a steal for a strong looking Rockets club.

Fishes (Pappas, Phillips, Elway, Favre) select Achmed “Axeman” Khan

There’s no clear skill for Achmed, but he definitely has talent and the Fishes think they can fit him into their defense and potentially their offense. Chico did, admittedly, have to yell his name a few times before he heard them and came over to their sideline.

Hornets (Ng, Sanders, Smith, Crockett) select Ashley “Little Smokey” Webber

An interesting pick, especially when you consider the fact they are picking back to back …

Round 5

Hornets (Ng, Sanders, Smith, Crockett, A Webber) select Sidney “Little Smokey” Webber

It’s hard to say whether Lena liked the upside of having both Webber sisters playing together or if she just couldn’t tell them apart so she picked them both. I mean even their nicknames are the same.

Fishes (Pappas, Phillips, Elway, Favre, Ac Khan) select Gretchen “Jabberjaw” Hasselhoff

Things are starting to slim out a bit here toward the end of the draft and the Fishes clearly felt they were lacking a bit in speed. Hasselhoff can bring some while also having some defensive upside.

Rockets (Rice, Young, Worthington, Johnson, Thomas) select Stephanie “Bubbles” Morgan

Although she brought her baseball mitt to the bubble (when are we possibly going to play baseball, Stephanie?) this is yet another steal for the Rockets. Yes, she doesn’t have one defining skill, but Morgan can literally do everything decent (besides kicking – and the Rockets already have two of those).

All-Stars (Cunningham, Petrovich, Lui, Frazier, K Kawaguchi) select Amir “Sticks” Khan

For the second straight round the All-Stars select the worse of two siblings as they go Amir rather after the K-man. It will be interesting to see how they work Amir into the system, but as we get into these later rounds, most of your line-up is already set.

Melonheads (Moonbeam, Wheeler, Robinson, T Delvecchio, Steele) select Angela “Sugar Pop” Delvecchio

Tony lobbied hard to get his sister on his team (keep her under his overprotective watch during the bubble), but his clumsy sister has a big foot and can be an extra blocker when needed. It seems like the Melonheads loaded up on speed early and now may be trying to get a powerful offensive line prepared to protect it.

Wombats (Sanchez, V Kawaguchi, Estrada, Eckman, Luna) select Sally “The Boss” Dobbs

Sally probably isn’t thrilled to be selected this late, considering she was the lead organizer behind the bubble. That said, she is an interesting wild card as a fairly speedy, decent throwing weapon. Perhaps Sanchez is giving himself an option if he needs to switch out of the QB role.

Round 6

Wombats (Sanchez, V Kawaguchi, Estrada, Eckman, Luna, S Dobbs) select Marky “Cootie” Dubois

Marky, who learned how to play football by tackling goats (I swear, that’s what it says) can block and catch so it feels like the Wombats can find a spot for him. He’s a bit of a New Orleans Neville Longbottom type, but Neville ended up having his day in the end.

Melonheads (Moonbeam, Wheeler, Robinson, T Delvecchio, Steele, A Delvecchio) select Jorge “Bonkers” Garcia

Bonkers doesn’t like to get dirty and he’s not a super talented guy which, for the Melonheads, they see as a perfect combination. The Melonheads drafted Jorge to sit on the bench which is his favorite position (I swear, that’s what it says) and, unlike some of the other players left, they knew he would like this role and not create locker room issues.

All-Stars (Cunningham, Petrovich, Lui, Frazier, K Kawaguchi, Am Khan) select Billy Jean “Crazy Legs” Blackwood

A real surprise here from the All-Stars who had the chance to choose between a number of back-up QBs and went with Blackwood. She could potentially be a better blocker than the other options, but the All-Stars are really putting a lot of pressure on Randall to be the QB.

Rockets (Rice, Young, Worthington, Johnson, Thomas, Morgan) select Dan “Dan the Man” Marino

There’s no two ways about it, the guy can chuck it. Not sure they will need him much given the expected Young-Rice chemistry, but as a bench player, you have to like what you see.

Fishes (Pappas, Phillips, Elway, Favre, Ac Khan, Hasselhoff) select Drew “Go Long” Bledsoe

Another big armed chucker, Bledsoe actually has a surprising ability to catch as well. That said, there could be a real QB controversy in Invincible as they drafted three guys who dream of one day playing QB in the NFL.

Hornets (Ng, Sanders, Smith, Crockett, A Webber, S Webber) select Ronny “Spud” Dobbs

The last pick in the draft, Ronny is pretty bad and this is the logical spot for him. It’s unclear how much he will help the Hornets, but maybe he can have a “Rudy” esque moment in a big spot for the squad.

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Thanksfelix Bowl XIX: It's Literally Just Jarrett Playing Backyard Football and Writing About It

Hello everyone,

Shortly, we will be removing ourselves from the real world and going into the make believe world of the Backyard Football Virtual Bowl. I apologize in advance for the weirdness of this, but what else would you expect from yours truly. To give you an overview, I decided to draft all the players in the Backyard Football universe and try to make 6 even teams. Then, I played out a round robin scenario for seeding and had a three round, single-elimination tournament (kind of like a Felix Bowl). 

A couple notes - I did not assign members of our Felix Bowl crew to each of the players this year. I didn't want anyone to be offended if their player rode the bench or didn't get passes or wasn't involved. Also, I'm already basically done all the games (only the championship left), but I will be leaking out the results slowly to build suspense. Lastly, I only recorded the two semi-finals and will record the finals as well. This was because 1) I didn't realize how easy it was to record the game and 2) each game is 20 minutes and those are 20 minutes that you can never get back. If I'm going to force people to watch these games, it should only be the "meaningful" ones.

Feel free to engage in the comments section or text me on the side with any thoughts you have about this as it plays out. I don't hear from a lot of you during the year and without the Felix Bowl, I feel I'll be missing out. 

Anyway, that's all I've got. You are now entering the fictional world inside my head. You have been warned.

________________________________

Due to the Coronavirus pandemic, the Thanksgiving Weekend Felix Bowl will not happen for the first time since 2007. Instead a group of volunteers has consented to traveling to a bubble in the town of Humongous to hold a tournament for the Felix contingent. There will be 42 players, selected as part of 6 teams. Every team will play each other team once in the 15 game “regular season”. The top two records will receive a bye in the first round of a single elimination playoff to determine the champion. Below is a list of the teams and their captains. The "draft" will happen Friday 10/16 (tomorrow) at 8 PM so be on the lookout for that post.

Mighty Wombats – Pablo “Secret Weapon” Sanchez

Humongous Melonheads – Star “Wish Upon” Moonbeam

Junior All-Stars – Randall “Run-n-Gun” Cunningham

Silly Rockets – Jerry “Mr. Automatic” Rice

Invincible Fishes – Chico “Suave” Pappas

Excellent Hornets – Lena “Knights That Say” Ng

Thank you to these participants for taking this risk to bring joy to the Felix Bowl faithful. Everyone have a fun and safe Thanksgiving! Hopefully we can try something in the Spring/Summer to get in another event!



Friday, October 25, 2019

Thanksfelixbowl XXVIII: Trying Not to Pull Anything

Date: November 30, 2019
Start Time: 10:30 AM
Location: Sparks Field, Fort Washington PA (moved from Mondauk due to Field Preservation)

Event Description
When we descend on Mondauk Park on Thanksgiving Weekend, it will be exactly 10 years since the first Felix Bowl I ever won. It was my 18th birthday and I was in the prime of life. Now, at the end of my life, I look back at the 2 (?) other Felix Bowls that I won with a sense of fondness. But not completeness. For as long as I can run without (additional) limping, I will remain forever dedicated to adding to my collection of (imaginary) trophies.

The date and time are tentative at this stage, but I am blocked off most of Saturday afternoon for my niece’s first birthday party (just to clarify, niece through my wife’s side, Luke is not a father just yet) and I know a lot of people work Friday, so this is my tentative slot of best fit. Wanted to get on everyone’s calendars early and get feedback on whether people think another time is better.

I also needed to time to, if everyone enjoyed that gimmick, stage another fake Felix Bowl using Backyard Football. So if you want that to happen again, comment in the event so I know.

There may be one or two other surprises as well.

That’s the deal. Any questions or comments, you can reach out to me or if I’m tied up, you can discuss with my agent Gabe Gabriel.

Let the games begin.


Teams
Team McGrath
Ian Mcgrath, Tom Lorenzi, Dan Johnson, Mitch Sacks

Team Lerman
Dave Lerman, Mark Pyfer, Mitch Silver, Chris Naughton

Team Leopold
Ian Leopold, Andy Leopold, Ed Brown, Ben Shatzman

Team Felix
Jarrett Felix, Luke Felix, Todd Warszawski, Charlie Smugar, Ryan Sacks

Recap
Although the Felix Bowl has been around for over a decade, that doesn’t mean we didn’t have our fair share of firsts at this year’s event. Right from the jump, things were wacky as the 10:30 start time was the earliest a Felix Bowl has ever began.

There were two timed 15 minute games for seeding purposes to start the tournament. In the first round, Team Leopold defeated Team McGrath 3-2 and Team Lerman tied Team Felix 2-2. It took a late score from Team Felix just to tie the game. In the second round, Team Felix defeated Team Leopold by 1, while team McGrath pulled off a 4-1 victory over Team Lerman.

This was also the first year since Felix Bowl III: Return of the King (infamously the only Felix Bowl to never officially finish) that two teams competing in the Felix Bowl did not ever play one another (Team McGrath and Team Felix). The first round of the single elimination playoff was a mirror image of the first round of seeding. While Team Felix quickly knocked off Team Lerman, Team Leopold and Team McGrath engaged in a back and forth battle before a late Andy Leopold score broke the 4-4 deadlock.

In the championship, Team Felix was well-rested and used their fitness edge to their advantage. They stormed out the gates with a quick deep-route score and never looked back en route to the championship.

Game Notes
Todd Warszawski, one of the “founding fathers” of the Felix Bowl, won his first ever championship in style. He was the go-to option in the playoffs and scored the Bowl-clinching TD. 

Ryan Sacks was the secret weapon of the championship offense. He picked up multiple touchdown catches and also grabbed an end-zone interception, stopping a key opposing scoring drive. 

Andy Leopold added to his all-time Felix Bowl lead in interceptions returned for touchdowns. 

Tom Lorenzi scored 5 touchdowns over the course of the tournament. 

It was a long awaited return for both Charlie Smugar and Ed Brown who had both been on a long Felix Bowl hiatus but were key contributors for two championship teams.

This year marked the third straight year that Team Leopold met Team Felix in the finals. 

Team Felix had 5 players vs every other team’s 4, a point of contention during play. The Commissioner has asked for any and all rule suggestions for future Bowls to fix this or other issues found during play to be forwarded along. 

The Commissioner also provided two medals to members of the winning team for the first time in Bowl history. There had never previously been any award hand outs. The medals were awarded to Todd, the championship MVP and first time Bowl winner, and Luke, the team captain and star QB/safety. 

The Felix-Felix connection was strong in this game as the pair connected on a number of deep touchdown catches. Its impossible to measure the total yardage, especially compared to prior years, but it seemed like a lot. Especially when you adjust down for old age-deflation.

The Commissioner thinks it could be fun if the championship team gets to “defend their title” the next season by keeping together their team to take on challengers (assuming that in doing so would not have more players than any other team). It could make some fun rivalry. However, the commissioner will not pass forth any such rule change without a majority vote at the start of tournament.

Next year the game may turn into a charity event.

Final Results
Team Felix (Jarrett, Luke, Todd, Charlie S, Ryan S) over Team Leopold

Offensive MVP: Todd Warszawski
Defensive MVP: Andy Leopold

Saturday, November 24, 2018

ThanksFelixBowl VIII: Backyard Football Bowl I

Date: November 24, 2018
Time: 12:00 PM
Location: Mondauk Park, Fort Washington PA

Event Description (from Facebook)
The Felix Bowl series has a long, complicated history. The first ever edition was held in February of 2008 (!). This was the first Giants-Pats Super Bowl and featured just two teams. One was deemed the Giants and one was the Patriots. Since the Patriots were undefeated and huge favorites, my team was naturally the Giants (I do love to be the underdog). That made Mitch Sacks Eli Manning (holds up) and me like Plaxico Burress or something crazy like that (I’ve metaphorically shot myself in the leg many a time so yeah, holds up).

It was a pretty epic game, stretching across 3+ hours. The Giants made a mid-game comeback only to be torched by QB Eric Lau in the final stages. None of us could drive yet so our parents were literally waiting in the parking lot of Thomas Fitzwater Elementary School as I made everyone stand around and listen to me announce the offensive and defensive MVPs.

Back then, basically none of us were on Facebook so I would organize the event by literally calling everyone’s house phone, asking their parents if their son was home and then telling them to come play with me (the kids not the parents, although you know Carl Silver would kill it).

It’s been almost 11 years since that first event and there have been countless tournaments that I have selfishly attached my name to, stretching across not just football, but also a basketball FelixBowl and a volleyball FelixBowl.

But never before have we attempted what I will attempt this year.

You may be wondering why I have sent out a Facebook invite almost two months before the event is set to happen (or maybe you aren’t, this kinda seems on brand for me). Well, this year we will have both a real FelixBowl (held the Saturday after Thanksgiving, all are invited, it’s going to be awesome, please come) and a virtual FelixBowl.

Those of you who have been around may remember that last year, I did a series of Backyard Football player comparisons that I honestly think increased participation and general enthusiasm by at least 30%. It got John Miller out of retirement.

Well this time, I will be simulating the football match-ups ahead of time in a FelixBowl style tournament where each team is composed of players that I have matched as best as possible to the people who respond to the Facebook event. That should build some drama and trash talk for the real event. I will, of course, keep you updated on how all the games unfold so you can be aware.

If you want your virtual self to be involved, here’s what you do. Respond to this Facebook event as honestly as possible. If you aren’t gonna be able to make it, that’s fine. Even if you can’t make the actual event, I’ll still include you in the virtual fun. But I would appreciate answers that are as honest as possible so that 1) I can get a good idea of how many people we will have and how many supplies we need and 2) maybe I can make some teams that may resemble the actual teams we have in the real life version of the game. Which I feel like would be fun.

Anyway, let me know if there’s a non-Facebook user who wants in on being in the virtual game. Spread the word about the real game (most importantly) and enjoy the experience. All input will be considered, but not all will be incorporated. The virtual tourney begins next weekend so get your sign ups before then.

All the best,
Commissioner Dobbs


Lead Up
I think most people showed up just because they were concerned about my general well-being after I decided to orchestrate a very crazy Backyard Football tournament featuring our Backyard Football Player Comparisons. Things may have gotten a little out of hand, but hey that's the kinda guy I am. If you want to relive that face tournament it is in a google doc link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UCR3yI4TwLY500Y_3LAC_fOUjPxXavFI_Mw0MrDhJ4c/edit?usp=sharing


Attendees
Three Teams: If I recall, I believe the Leopolds and the Felixs both said that they wanted to play together and that left Lerman to draft up his own third team (which played very well, but ultimately ended up third).

Team 1
Ian Leopold
Andy Leopold
Dan Johnson
Tom Lorenzi

Team 2
Jarrett Felix
Luke Felix
Mitch Sacks
Ben Shatzman
Todd Warszawski (?)

Team 3
Mark Pyfer
Dave Lerman
John Miller

Other people who were there: Ryan Sacks, Matt Sidell was there for a little, but ultimately got tired out and had to leave, Ben Razon, but I know no McGrath, possibly Brett Tannenbaum as well but I don't think this year he was there for whatever reason

We also had fans for the first time in Felix Bowl history as both of Leopold girlfriends showed up to watch their men bring home the title and Terry Park also showed up to check in and see how we were doing

What I Remember
I think this had some of the longest games ever once we got into the actual tournament part. We moved to a 3 downs system from a 4 down system (I think the year before is when we first tried it) and the defenses became quite stout. Lerman's team and Felixes's team both had a super long battle before ultimately Felixes's team prevailed. The championship was a bit back and forth (I think there was a play where Shatzman stepped out of the back of the end zone before making a catch which might be the first time in Felix Bowl history we have ever seen that happen) and that swung some momentum back toward team Leopold.

I also know for a fact that I got absolutely Moss-ed by Ian Leopold multiple times when I thought I was in great position and Andy Leopold had a truly unreal catch over my brother as well. It was a really awesome set of games.

Result
Winning Team: Ian Leopold, Andy Leopold, Dan Johnson, Tom Lorenzi
Runners-Up: Jarrett Felix, Luke Felix, Mitch Sacks, Ben Shatzman, Todd Warszawski

I feel like with our combined memories, we can probably (hopefully?) remember all the teams from this past year so definitely chime in if you think you remember.


Friday, November 24, 2017

Thanksfelix Bowl VII: Thanksfelix Isn't All That Clever In Retrospect

Date: November 24, 2017
Start Time: 12:30 PM
Location: Mondauk Park, Fort Washington PA

Event Description (Facebook)
The day after thanksgiving, people are usually feeling bad about how much they ate. They are hating themselves a lot and need to get out and exercise that food belly. Well, I have a solution for you. Don’t eat so much. Learn to say no for once.

But hey, if you still are having trouble saying no, come play touch football with me at Mondauk. You’ll regret it only a tiny bit more than that extra slice of pumpkin pie.

There’s been lots of classic memories in this game including the time my team lost or, perhaps more memorably, the time my team lost. And of course who can forget that time we had a disagreement about the rules that I made up 8 years ago.

So come on over. Let me know I forgot anyone with the invite. All are invited.

As an extra wrinkle, I’m bringing back the player profiles that I used to do back in my I had too much time on my hand days. So if you respond to the event and want one, I’ll give you a backyard football character comparison. I know, it’s hard to believe but I’ve somehow gotten less cool since high school.

Also, feel free to text people who don’t have a Facebook to fill them in on this. I’m sure there are a bunch nowadays.


Attendees
3 or 4 Teams

Team 1
Jarrett Felix
Luke Felix
Alex Fleischer
Dave Lerman
Mitch Silver

Team 2
Andy Leopold
Ian Leopold
Ben Shatzman
Ben Razon (?)
Todd Warszawski (?)

Team 3
Ian McGrath

Team 4 (?)

Also involved: Mitch Sacks, Ryan Sacks, John Miller, maybe Tom Lorenzi, Alex Wooden, Brett Tannenbaum, possibly Mark Pyfer - I think we had 20ish and 4 teams so it feels like it was a good turnout, potentially Dan Johnson but its unclear

What I Remember
I don't remember this being a particularly impressive showing for McGrath. I think his team got knocked out first and he left with his girlfriend. I also remember Andy Leopold had multiple pick sixes, possibly against our team alone. Our team lost initially and then we battled back to the championship game where we were able to win and take the title in a hard fought match-up

Results
Winning Team: Jarrett Felix, Luke Felix, Dave Lerman, Mitch Silver, Alex Fleischer
Runners Up: Any Leopold, Ian Leopold, Ben Shatzman, Ben Razon

Friday, November 25, 2016

Thanksfelix Bowl Something: I Thought He Would Have Outgrown This By Now

Date: November 25, 2016
Start Time: 1:00 PM
Location: Mondauk Park, Fort Washington PA

Event Description (Facebook)
The nation's greatest tradition is back to add to the legacy. I can't tell you exactly how many of these bowls there have been, but they date back to February 3rd, 2008. Even Gilad hasn't seen that many bowls. Is that joke still funny? I don't even know, I haven't since Gilad in half a decade.

Pretty sure 90% of us had our parents pick us up from that game. I hadn't kissed a girl yet. Of course, once I became Felixbowl commissioner, the ladies didn't stand a chance.

We've played in rain. We've played in snow. We've played with McGrath. We've put on a combined 2,000 lbs. I'm actually stunned we haven't been to the hospital more when you look back at it. Shout out to Dave Lerman for having the most serious injury in FelixBowl history. Unless you count my pride after any number of losses I've suffered.

Over the years, I've written some player bios, created a super over the top rule book, and tried to outline the entire Felixbowl history. I won't be doing any of that crap this year I'm now a mature adult. I just write ridiculous event intros now. Like a man.

Anybody who wants to come is invited. Heck, even people who don't want to come are invited. I just have one rule. If you are planning to come, please be on time or alert me to the fact that you are coming but running late. That way I can make sure everybody is on a team and everything is fair. You guys know how I get. I think we all remember Felix Bowl II.

In the words of our new lord and savior Joel Embiid (not to be confused with our old lord and savior from a few weeks ago Carson Wentz), "He can't guard me." See ya there.


Attendees
I believe this is the first year that my brother came back to playing. I think we scraped together three teams. I think McGrath had to come late and didn't get to participate in the actual touranment, but we played for fun afterwards. We must have had 3 teams, but I can't figure out exactly how we got there

I believe we had Jarrett Felix, Luke Felix, Ian Leopold (only), Mitch Silver, Dave Lerman, Mark Pyfer, Todd Warszawski, Mitch Sacks, Chris Naughton, Tom Lorenzi and probably a couple other guys that didn't have Facebooks or provide Facebook responses

Results
I don't remember a lot, but I feel like the Chris Naughton-Luke Felix team won the championship this year and then either Todd or Mitch Silver was also on their team (conceivably both I guess)